Knightmare

Knightmare

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Reaper	[Dec. 29th, 2008\|02:37 pm]
I was laying in bed, and I heard my mom and dad fighting again. My dad was yelling at my mom that months ago I had promised to buy groceries. Yet that it still hadn't happened. I shouted out to my dad that it was because I didn't have a car, and he snidely replied that I could take my mothers. I got up and begun to leave the house, meanwhile saying that the real problem was that I was living at home at all. I started to leave, and with every step I left my house I remembered more and more clearly that I had already moved out. It was if a spell of emotion had been cast, and was holding back where I was. But when I looked back, I saw my dad trying to follow me. For some reason it wasn't working though, and the house was holding him in. His arms and legs then grew to huge proportions trying to escape the house. He was contorted, but not powerful enough to break through. Then it was years later, and I was entered an old building that was somehow related to my work. There were tiny narrow hallways running everywhere, old pipes that haven't had anything flow through them in decades, and ladders leading upwards that were too small for me to climb up because they had been sealed off and only a child would be able to get through. I was humming some sort of funeral march as I descended deeper and deeper into this old building that was some sort of factory that I thought was the subbasement of a firehouse for some reason. Eventually I reached a large room that was filled with small stones, like coals. And scattered throughout the room were all sorts of broken dolls and toys. I then did something, I don't remember what, and I began to sing the funeral march loudly. I walked around this room with the coals making their crushing sound beneath my feet, and eventually I picked up a doll that looked like it had been placed there much more carefully but still years earlier. I picked up the doll and I felt some sort of spirit attack me because it thought I was taking it away from it. Rather than be hurt, like when a child flails against their parent I was able to overpower the spirit and hold it in a hug. I whispered to it that it was alright, and that I loved it. The ghost then began to weap, and after holding it for a while I went to find its body. In the corner of the coal room, all that remained was a hand. I cast some sort of spell on the hand and the ghost began to cry in pain. Somehow I was reanimated the creature, and it was extremely painful for it. The dismembered hand began to move on its own, and crawl towards me. It kept trying to attack me, and I kept evading it effortlessly. And with every failed assault against me, it grew more frustrated and then more powerful. And as it did, I encouraged it while praising it for gaining various abilities - I had jargon for each ability but can't now remember what it was. But when it was able to manifest a cloud-like blackness that was roughly in its form I praised it for that. When it was able to make two red eyes appear within that cloud attached to the hand I encouraged it to keep trying to grow. And eventually then, it manifested as the terrifying form of a dead girl, and I was quite proud - I told it that I wanted it to grow and be big and strong so that it could face what it would have to in the afterlife. I then lured it out of the building. I continued to egg it on, while giving it pointers about how to manifest. I don't know where I emerged, but there were cobblestone roads, waterways, and lots of historic buildings. It was nowhere even close to where I now live, and probably not even on the same continent. The highly manifested ghost I lured out continued to attack me. And as it did, and failed, it was continuing to become more and more powerful. Eventually it appeared as a regular girl, and when it did it looked at itself and ran away. It didn't run from being afraid, but from being free or excited at having a solid form again. I was amused by this, and flew through the air following her. She was running for a museum where she knew someone, and had planned on taking revenge for her murder - she was no longer angry at me for causing her the pain of rekindling her spirit. The vengeance she had planned on taking wasn't allowed. I cast some sort of triangle around her, and she was imprisoned. She screamed at me, and I told her I was sorry but that that would have to be enough. I told her that there was no more justice in the afterlife than in life. I told her that if we wanted justice then we must create our own, but not by making others suffer how she had planned to but rather by doing what is right even though it means greater suffering for ourselves. I told her I was going to send her to the other place now, and somehow I then opened a gateway and collapsed the pyramid prison into it forcing her through. As she was pushed through the portal, she yelled at me angrily as she mutated into something even larger and more fierce, telling me that it was unfair that I got to stay within the living world and interact with people. After she was gone, I remembered then that I myself had been dead all along. I was a dead hunter of ghosts, and always had been. I had simply forgotten that I had died. But it had been so long ago, and I had grown so accustomed to being dead, that I wasn't bound by the same sorts of restrictions that regular ghosts were. I could walk amongst the living, and eat, and even make love. But in the haze I was in until that point I never knew to grow older, or to get sick, or to die and move on to the next life myself. For some reason though, that had changed then. I felt that my time to die was now rapidly approaching. And I was terrified, because I knew that what I would face in the afterlife would be something vastly more terrifying that what any of the spirits I had sent there had.
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And I Could Chew Once More	[Dec. 21st, 2008\|12:23 pm]
My teeth had been worn down from the world, and I needed to go to the dentist but I was too tired or poor to even go. Then a woman I like (a lot) handed me a pair of teeth, and explained that she didn't need them anymore because she wouldn't have to chip and grind down her teeth to eat. I put her spare teeth in my mouth, and at first it sort of hurt because my mouth was conforming to them. But then, and even though it makes no sense, the teeth melded with mine and it was as if I had a regular mouth again.
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The Philosophy Museum	[Oct. 8th, 2008\|09:27 am]
I was in a run down house that seemed like it was built some time in the 1800s. The house was supposedly a museum, but it was filled with broken and poorly designed objects. I was annoyed with the people who were living in the house because it seemed like an amazing building, but they were neglecting it so horribly that it was filthy. I was further annoyed because they seemed to have no qualms using the poorly designed if not bluntly broken tools as if they could compete with modern new technology. So I begun to clean it all up, though I was frustrated because I felt like I was the only person doing anything. I wasn't going to give up no matter what, but I felt like I wasn't making any progress in cleaning-up the trash from the museum. Then, one of my professors appeared to help out. He praised me for doing such a great job so far and started directing me. The job of cleaning the place up became vastly more manageable and I made a lot of progress. Then, underneath some of the trash we came to a canoe that was shaped like a V. The part of the canoe that the person was supposed to sit in was where the two sides connected, and wasn't large enough to displace enough water for there to be enough buoyancy to keep the seat above water - like all of the other objects in the museum it had quite the design flaw! I was about to throw it out along with all the other artifacts that didn't have educational value when the professor stopped me. He told me that when it was thrown through the air that it would twirl around and then come back to the person who threw it. He seemed quite proud of this fact. But I wasn't impressed, and I told him that while that was great that it was supposed to be a canoe not a boomerang. At this point he make a frowny face and told me that it shouldn't be thrown out, but that maybe it belonged outside in the garden. He told me to put Emotivism at the top of the waterfall in the artificial pond outside. I place the canoe where he told me to, but it immediately sunk - it wasn't even buoyant enough to keep itself above the water. I returned to the professor and but he simply assured me that it could stay above water. And so I built-up the sand beneath the canoe, and had it sit in the center of the pond propped up on a gigantic sand bar. Even though the professor knew that this was merely an illusion, he seemed quite happy with it for reasons I do not understand.
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The God Area & Elemental Possession (2)	[Sep. 20th, 2008\|10:02 pm]
I was presenting to the Positive Psychology Group when religion came up again. One of my bosses said that they could prove to me that God existed, and I asked her what she was waiting for. She said that it was a simple procedure, where all they had to do was implant a small electrode into a special God association area of my brain and then turn it on. She said that once that area was stimulated that I would immediately transcend into the spiritual plane, and that there I would be able to witness the supernatural and move back and forth between the planes freely. I said that more than anything I wanted to believe in that sort of stuff, and so I immediately schedule to have the surgery and implantation. But then my boss, and older researcher, became somewhat angry at her and told her that it was just too dangerous. He told her that they needed to wait, to which she said that was sort of condescending and that I was a good person. He looked at me, and said that he believed that too but that they weren't the judge. And that they just couldn't risk that I go to the other place, and that something would come back with me. That he would be responsible for opening that gateway, and letting that thing through. In the second dream I was with a small army of sheep like creatures. They were very weak, but very fast. Somehow we fought against this fire demon thing, and with their help and sacrifice we were able to defeat it. As that creature died it exploded, but then all of the flames flew into my lunges. I had become part fire elemental, and could now shoot flames and control fire as easily as my own intentions. These small loyal creatures and I wandered for a while, but then another elemental monster like creature emerged from the ground. This one was made of rock rather than fire, and the sheep creatures began to battle with it just as they had with the fire demon. This time, however, they were getting totally slaughtered. I didn't want anyone to fight, but then I decided to hurl a fireball at the earth creature to stop it. It became immensely annoyed and giant building-sized guillotine-shaped rocks started flying at me. I managed to dodge them, but being attacked myself now I was terrified. As the adrenaline kicked in I shot off another blast but this time of a glowing white sphere - it wasn't flame but something else. And when the rock beast was truck it split into four creatures. Those creatures were very tall, and looked almost like totem poles. But instead they had a single and very long face, which was grinning at me. They somehow galloped over and surrounded me on all four corners, then they suddenly combined with me between them and with excruciating pain they ground their way through my skin. Rather than die, I could now control both fire and earth as easily as my intentions (and had some control over, apparently, whatever that white orb that tore the earth creature to shreds was).
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Broccoli Will Keep Your Bike Safe	[Sep. 1st, 2008\|09:44 am]
I was going to a philosophy club meeting with the president, when we walked by a street vendor with lots of bike locks hung around him. I stopped and asked the president if we had time to stop, and explained that I was thinking about buying a bicycle and was wondering if he had any good bicycle locks. Suddenly then the dream turned into an infomercial and he starting going on and on about how he just got this new super powerful guaranteed unbreakable lock in. He then took out a long string of broccoli. A blowtorch randomly appeared in his hand as he said to watch as he demonstrated the awesome power of broccoli. He put the torch onto the broccoli but it didn't melt or anything. But then the president of the philosophy club was like "That's crap, you just held it at an angle! It's a trick, a trick I say!" So the guy redid it, but again, the broccoli did not melt. I then told the street vendor that that was absolutely amazing and that I wanted to know how much it cost. He then told me that it didn't cost anything, but that instead if I wanted it I had to throw it into the air and catch it behind my back. I told the vendor that such an awesome and powerful device ought to be paid for, and that I would feel bad simply taking it. But the vendor then said that that was the way it must be done, and that the only way to get it is to throw it into the air and catch it behind my back. I did this, and took the broccoli with me. As I walked towards the meeting with my broccoli, cheese had somehow appeared on it and I was just casually snacking on it despite that it was "unbreakable" just a few moments earlier.
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Witch Cocoon	[Aug. 31st, 2008\|10:35 am]
There were two witches that were holding me prisoner, and they were so powerful that there was simply no hope of escape. They were feeding off of me somehow, extracting energies from my soul. But they were also using their magic to nurture and fortify my soul so that I would regenerate faster and stronger than any normal person could. They treasured me, not as a human being but as a possession - like a gardener treasures its prize flower. One witch simply looked like an old grandmother, but with thick calluses covering areas of her body. I somehow knew that the grandmother witch had only been a witch for 40 or so years, starting from what should have been the end of her life. But the other witch was ancient, and didn't even look human anymore. That witch had been around for thousands of years and had taken the young witch as a servant or assistant. The body of the ancient witch had swollen up and contorted. The ancient witch appeared as an obese cocoon of putrid flesh created from the husks of humans - she didn't even look human, and I'm not sure how I knew that if she wasn't human anymore that she once had been. The ancient witch did not speak physically, because her mouth had long eroded. And she could not walk, for her legs were no longer distinct areas of her body. But the ancient witch could levitate, and she would move from one area to another by doing so and twisting the very fabric of space around her so that her obese frame could fit. And she would communicate psychically, speaking in some strange symbolic way that only the grandmother witch could understand. The ancient witch was transforming, and the grandmother witch was helping her do so by pulling energy out of me. I was food, and an endless source at that. They were farming me, and through my misery I was giving the ancient witch what she needed to complete her transformation. My whole life, everything. It was just a dream to mask this endless torment that I was destined to suffer as food for these witches.
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Graverobbing the Starchamber of the Sleeping Ancient Princess of Pluto	[Aug. 16th, 2008\|02:08 pm]
There was a huge temple taking-up most of a relatively tiny satellite that housed the sleeping queen. It was a lost temple that didn't appear on any maps and that was only occasionally stumbled upon by spaceships. For the most part, people didn't visit the temple. Finding the temple was like winning the lottery - it was rare but it wasn't entirely unheard of. I entered the temple, but I don't know where I came from - it was almost as if I just materialized there out of nowhere. I then descended a large spiral staircase, and found myself at the top of a gigantic pedestal. The room I was in was large, with statues on all sides and sarcophagi everywhere. But surrounding the room was about a 40 foot cliff leading down into a red fluid substance. And there were thick layers of moss everywhere. There were also some sort of semi-transparent human-appearing robot guardians that wore tattered black robes and belts that appeared as though they were once magnificent and beautiful. They patrolled with perfect rhythm, despite that they appeared as though they were going to fall apart and stumbled through the moss. In the center of the pedestal was a hologram of a beautiful sleeping woman. I instantly fell in love with her, and knew that she was my first soul mate, from a thousand lives in the past. She was breathe-taking, and the image drove me to try and find her and awaken her. I looked around the room, somehow knowing that it was all just a puzzle. But I couldn't find anything. Then, I noticed an area above, between two statues. It looked like a hallway leading back, and I saw another of the robotic guardians walk by in the distance down the hallway. I somehow knew that was the way forward, even though I had never been able to get up there before. Then the dream turned somewhat lucid as I remembered that I had dreamt this place before. I had dreamt it, noticed that area, and attempted to build a bridge. But the ghostly guardians then came to life and snapped my neck effortlessly. I had also tried jumping for the hallway several times, but every time I was 15 feet short and would fall down into the red liquid... which was some sort of acid, and dissolved me upon contact. I had also tried to break into the various sarcophagi, but again, the guardians would kill me before I even made a dent. I knew that this place was dangerous if I were to try and succeed, but the image of the sleeping beauty inspired me. I wracked my brain, examining everything but finding nothing. Then I realized something odd; the temple had existed longer than any known civilization in the universe had, and no one was able to track it. And yet, much of it appeared run down. But if the technology was that advanced, one would think it wouldn't have moss growing everywhere. And then I remembered that one of the sarcophagi was cracked - that wouldn't have happened. I approached that sarcophagi, and while looking at the nearest patrolling ghostly guardian I started to push the lid off. To my surprise, while the lid appeared to be heavy stone, it was nearly as light as air. And inside, the sarcophagus was empty. There was simply a pillow, and when I looked underneath the pillow I found a small lever. Excitedly, I pulled the lever. But my excitement didn't last for long. The only thing that happened was that some of the statues on the center pedestal area where I was began to trickle water down below. But I could see the water level, and as much as it was trickling down it was also draining somewhere. And it was then that I had a second epiphany. The robotic guardians killed me the second I began to damage the temple, but certainly they wouldn't kill me for maintaining it. And by playing the system, I just might be able to access that hallway. I began to walk around the temple, cleaning the pounds and pounds of moss off of everything and dropping it over the edge, down to where the drain was. I spent a few hours cleaning moss off of everything, including the guardians, until the drain was well blocked. I then cleaned the moss out of where the statues poured water over the edges, returned to the fake sarcophagi, and pressed the lever repeatedly. This time, as the water flowed in it was unable to drain. And eventually the water level rose until it was at the level of the pedestal. The only problem now, was the acid. Anything that touched the liquid instantly dissolved, but I needed to cross it to get over to the hallway. I then picked-up the lid of the sarcophagus, gently placed in the fluid so as not to splash any, and found that it floated. I carefully climbed into the sarcophagus, and pushing off from the center area floated over to the hallway. I had finally succeeded where I previous failed in so many countless dream. I now stood right in front of the hallway I had never been able to get to. But my problems weren't over. I was about to step onto the other side, when I saw a guard in the distance began to charge at me. Terrified, and knowing that angering them meant instant death, I pushed off again and began to float back from where I came. As the guard approached the edge, it was unable to stop itself in time and fell into the fluid. For a moment I thought that it was the end, but then I realized that for some reason the guards didn't make a splash when they hit the water. All that was left was a robe, floating at the top - it was as if someone had dropped a tattered sheet onto a lake, and was casually floating there as if nothing had been wearing it and the liquid wasn't incredibly potent acid. I then pushed back to the area, and for about half an hour listened and watched to see if any other guards were there. I knew that I wouldn't be able to make a hasty retreat because even a sprinkle of the fluid from the moat meant death. And so I was cautiously entered the hallway. This area of the temple seemed strange. It was obvious that they didn't intend for anyone to be able to access it, but at the same time it was as if it were to be used. I began to slowly progress down the hallway, when I found that a side room behind another of the statues. I could look out from behind the statue and see the pedestal room, but there wasn't enough space to squeeze through. The room had a simple bed that seemed out of place for the temple, and there is where I found it: some sort of strange notebook. The notebook was strange because of how out of place it felt, and that somehow it felt like it wasn't there. It appeared as if it was a notebook from my childhood, and when I opened it, it was filled with text in English. I could read it despite that the temple was built by a civilization that some theorized predated the most recent Big Bang. And for some reason I got the feeling that if I had learned to read on papyrus that this notebook would have appeared as a scroll, while if I had learned to read on stone tablets that it would have appeared as a stone tablet. It felt so strange to hold, that it was a few minutes before I even began to read what was written inside. I only read the first three lines. The first sentence said that it wasn't supposed to talk to me, but that it didn't really see why it shouldn't given what was about to happen. The second sentence said that the place I was in was a temple, a prison, an anchor, and a work of perfect art. The third sentence said that no one had ever crossed over as I did, that flying technology was disabled and winged creatures shot when they attempted to fly, but that since I had nothing the programs didn't activate, that I had managed to sneak by, and that it was a horrible mistake. Then I dropped the "notebook" in terror as I heard footsteps running towards me - it was another guard. This one was so close and moving so fast that there was no way I could get back to my makeshift boat - it was practically already at me. My last thought was the realization that the ghostly guardian must have been running towards me this entire time, and that this place must be vastly bigger than it was on the outside. My last sight was the black blur of the guardian turning the corner and seemingly flowing straight into me. But it didn't run throw me - it dismembered me instantly and effortlessly as if I exploded on contact with it. It only hurt for about a tenth of a second before I woke-up. I failed. Again. And this time I made it so that I would never be able to succeed, because the glitch that let me get to where I wanted to be had been fixed.
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Karl the Kit	[Jul. 28th, 2008\|06:53 pm]
I've started sleeping in the guest room. For some reason, it feels much more peaceful - I think that the bed must be better or something. The windows in the room face out into the forest, but there is a roof area first. In the dream, it was storming and I was looking out the window at that roof area. Somehow a small and beaten-up baby fox had stranded himself there. The kit was making a sound that was a cross between a cry and a bark, and was pacing around frantically with a slight limp. The kit was obviously in a great deal of pain, and wanted help. But I didn't help it. I watched, as if I weren't actually in the house. Someone then randomly materialized next to me and casually said, "Well, at least Karl has his flower pot..." Almost as if on command, the kit climbed into a moderately large flower pot and just sat there shivering and staring up while whimpering. The kit seemed much more at peace, but still extremely unhappy. "Yeah, Karl really does love sitting in his flower pot! That's so adorable!" another voice said. "I know!!! So cuuuuuuuute!!!!" said the first person.
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Suppressed Emotion? Turning?	[Jul. 18th, 2008\|04:49 pm]
I will often have a strange dream. But it doesn't feel like a dream and sometimes it happens when I'm half awake. It is just this huge pressure on my teeth, and it will feel as if my canines are growing outwards like a vampire's would. There is just this huge pressure and pain. I got sleepy and so I took a nap, and it happened again. This time I put my hand by my mouth and I could feel steam or blood misting outwards from the pressure, as if a geyser of mist were erupting around my teeth as they tried to come out. I could also hear a faint siren and I felt as if I were somewhere else. Perhaps somehow bound in some sort of sensory deprivation tank. And it felt like I had been there for a really long time. It was all very matrix-y. Except, in this case, I was waking up from the matrix as a vampire. And it makes me wonder what else is in my mind.
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Another Staticy Phone Call

[Jul. 18th, 2008|02:22 pm]

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Somewhere in my mind, there is a part of me that wants to make myself hurt. There is also a part of me that believes in whatever would bring me the greatest joy, no matter how unrealistic and absurd that thing is. At least, that is what I must conclude when I have a dream like this.

The phone rang, and it was her. The call had so much static that I could barely hear her. But she was complaining. She was saying that it was great at first, but that it wasn't long at all before they started to fight. She was acting as if none of what had happened between us had happened. It was as if she hadn't treated me as just another cog in her self-focused hedonic machine. It infuriated me that she could hurt me so deeply and then act as if it was nothing. As I got angry, the static increased to the point that I could barely hear her. But then as I tried to listen, my anger dampened and so did the static.

I could hear her say that she was just outside my house now. I opened the door, and I saw her. It was as if someone had flipped a switch. I am a human being. I have hurt more than any human being needs to or should hurt. And she degraded me and used me so that she could take even more from this world. She added to my damage and then now here she was, as if her value as a human being were so vastly greater that such a course of action were even remotely acceptable.

I didn't scream at her or do anything immature. It was just a sort of this deep rejection. This feeling of "fuck you straight to hell." A rejection at the level of reality itself. The whole dream was torn apart, as if the world were being swallowed by a thousand tiny black holes. Nothing was left of me, nothing was left of her. There was just a black void, and soon even that was gone. Soon there was only the involuntary sight of my ceiling, and a deep ache in my heart.

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I'm a Little Teacup!	[Jul. 2nd, 2008\|05:36 pm]
In what must be the most terrifying nightmare I've ever had, I was standing in about a foot of warm coffee in a bathtub/teacup. I was repeating over and over again, "it's not like I don't like to get up in the morning, I love coffee!" (Actually, I hate coffee.) As if to break the cycle then, I started singing as tea started to rain down on me from the shower head. It was a version of the little tea cup song, but not quite right. "I'm a little tea cup short and stout Here is my handle and here is my spout (pointing to somewhere private) All the little teacups want to pout Cause you roll me over and I pour out!"
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Iconmare	[Jun. 28th, 2008\|10:49 pm]
I have trouble remembering much of anything about it. But again, I could feel something foreign and evil attacking me. It wasn't a full out night terror, but even after I woke up I couldn't shake this image from my mind. It looked like waves of water, but they were instead thousands of serrated spikes. And they were two dimensional (as if they were sheets of paper), and they had moving eye symbols painted onto them. They crashed against me, but rather than tearing my flesh they inspired a deep fear. Each and every eye as if it were some horrible insight tearing into me... and just thousands of them, tearing away every last piece of me. It was somehow beautiful. To see something symbolic rather than actual, that had such a powerful aesthetic value that it could inspire fear. But as I slowly awoke the rest of the way, it's power faded along with the dream. It was just an illusion. Despite it, I am still grateful for the experience.
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Disgusting Taste	[Jun. 26th, 2008\|12:06 pm]
I was cozy in bed in a gigantic 1800s sort of room. It was lightning storming outside, and absolutely freezing. But my room was warm around the bed. Despite this, I wanted to move around the room more and so I thought I could warm it up if I could put something on the fire. But I didn't have anything to put on the fire. Instead, all I had was a gigantic pile of dog biscuits. I figured that the biscuits would burn like coal, and so I took some and shoveled them onto the glowing embers in the fireplace. Doing this was, apparently, a huge mistake. I started coughing as the biscuits were melted by the embers and expelled their thick gross smoke. I choked and my mouth had the most wretched taste in it as I slowly choked and eventually woke-up. It was so disgusting. I don't mind dreaming the disemboweling dreams so much, but when I dream these awful tastes it just ruins my entire morning. So absolutely and thoroughly disgusting it was - I haven't been hungry all morning.
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Saving Face?	[Jun. 21st, 2008\|08:57 am]
There was some sort of tournament to determine the fate of the world. But I didn't enter. Despite this, I was randomly chosen as a target in the tournament. The contenders were supposed to kill me, and the first one to do so got points. So I was running and various strange people were after me. I told them all to leave me alone and that I didn't want trouble. But obviously, none of them cared. Luckily for me, they were as willing to kill each other as they were to kill me. I kept running, and they kept killing each other. But finally then, only a small motorcycle gang and a bandaged fighter with a curved sword remained. I frantically knocked on the back door of a house begging for them to hide me, and they let me in. But once they found out who I was they got really pissed. Despite this though, they eventually helped me frame the motorcycle gang. We stole their main bike, which had a sidecar with a flood light and machine gun mounted onto it. We then framed them by making a video of us shooting random inanimate objects without showing our faces, and then sending it to the police. The police then came and arrested them and took them all away, and I was really happy. The sword warrior, however, was convinced that I was going to destroy him. And as he lunged at me I was able to turn his sword around and fall backwards in such a way that I was beneath him holding him up with my foot, but if I let go he would fall onto me but not without being impaled by his sword. Rather than be stuck in this humiliating position, he quickly squirmed and pushed my leg out of the way as he fell onto his sword. The sword impaled him and I got really pissed. "All you had to do to be happy was give-up your honor! You could have had a family and an amazing wife! What the hell was wrong with you?!" I screamed at him. He just sort of looked at me. He said that he knew that all he had to do was to be less honest. Or even just to stop chasing after me. But that honor was in his blood. And that he would never disrespect me so greatly as to pretend like he didn't want the world. The bandaged swordsmen represented me, and the person I was in the dream was someone else...
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The Sacred Dance of the Warrior's Initiation	[Jun. 9th, 2008\|03:56 pm]
It was like a documentary following a group of warriors. They had already shaved their heads (both the women and the men) and performed various kung-fu monk-like tasks that were extremely grueling (both sexes had to do just as much, so there were fewer women than men remaining.) The final and last task was to hike to a sacred cavern, and to perform a blood letting. Painted onto the walls of the cavern was a rainbow of countless mystical shapes. Compounding the beauty then, was that in the center of the cavern there was a waterfall that nearly formed a circle. The warriors gathered in a circle around the falls, and were supposed to dance within them. They danced with their shaved heads, bulging muscles, and strange clothes (they were beautiful in their simplicity, like a combination of a peasant's burlap tunic, but with a few layered stripes of colors that emphasized all of their curves.) But it was not simply any blood that the warriors needed to bleed. The ritual was claimed to be one of purity, and the people of the tribe believed that humans had bad blood and good bad. The bad blood was green, and if it were let out and washed away by these sacred falls then the person would become pure. And that too was the joke, for humans cannot bleed green. Cheaters, however, have no difficulty "bleeding green." Each person would hide little pellets of paint, or strip paint from the walls of the cavern as they walked by. If confronted in private, they would claim that it was a test of cunning, or final training against the conscience. But had the people known, they would have all disowned their warriors. For their warriors were their kings and queens, and thought to be infallible models for all the citizens of the tribe. And had you claimed to the warriors that all the other warriors were guilty, they never would have believed you. It would have seemed like blasphemy to them, and they too would have banished you into the woods or worse. I saw her amongst the warriors that finished, but she was just one of countless liars. And when I awoke I discovered that the honor council is requesting specifically me, despite that I told them I was done after I had some rather unpleasant experiences where I felt like professors were encouraging dishonesty. (When the INSTITUTION encourages academic dishonesty, what right does it have to punish the few who get caught?)
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The Haunting Statue	[Jun. 6th, 2008\|10:31 am]
It was my house but not quite. It was a combination of a cheesy museum or cheesy theme park and my house. I sat down in the family room which was now a primitive safari-themed exhibit. I had my laptop and was writing my biography, but it was extremely boring. And so I looked around the room, desperately trying to find inspiration. But the cursor just continued to blink on a blank screen. Staring at my screen I was overcome with this feeling of injustice, as if I had written some great novel but then someone else deleted it. For some reason I was angry at the room. And the only way I could make sense of this was if it was haunted. And so I quickly ran away to look at the security cameras that were installed. I ran from the room as if it were evil, and into my kitchen. The kitchen was normal, except for a set of monitors connecting to cameras all over the house. Then I saw something that struck pure terror into my heart. On the monitor of the room I just flew, I saw a statue of a little girl dressed like Lady Justice or some sort of Greek Goddess. Her skin was darker, but she wasn't wearing a blindfold. Instead, her eyes burned with a bright light. It wasn't in the room when I fled, and I was alone in the house. My heart just about stopped when I realized that if I turned around that I should be able to see the statue. I did, but now it had jumped 10 feet closer to me. It was in the hall between the two rooms, and just 20 feet away. Standing before the statue of the girl, I was filled with pure terror. But in addition to those fears, there was also a profound sadness, and a refusal to let go. "Without her, it just doesn't matter!" I shouted as I ran towards the statue. The very space of reality twisted as if the haunting statue was moving through a wormhole backwards as I ran towards it. The closer I got, the more filled with dread I became. But I refused to back down. I simply refused. I can't remember whether I got touched the statue. But when I awoke, I had a plan.
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Don't ruin her fun!

[Apr. 11th, 2008|12:54 pm]

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dreams

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I should have been chopping wood with an ax, but instead I was setting logs on the chopping block and then sawing them apart. I was camping with three people, two adults and a young child wearing a white mink hat. It felt good, and it was cute how the child was playing with the stuffed-animal mink that was on its head as a hat.

But then, all of the sudden we were surrounded by a gigantic circle of wolves. They were laying and sitting casually, watching us from a distance as if we were in the arena of a coliseum. And then, one particularly large wolf began to approach. And it was approaching the little girl.

I thought that it had mistaken her hat for prey, and I quickly yelled for the little girl to throw her hat into the woods. But instead, she continued to play with the stuffed animal, and even moved it to wave to the wolf, saying, "hello Mr. Wolf!" I screamed at her and she looked at me afraid, about to cry. She started to take it off, but then her parents yelled at me and told her to keep playing. They told her that I was just trying to ruin her fun, and that I had no right to do this. I was livid at the parents, but the wolf was very close to the girl now. And so I begun to approach the girl as well as I continued to beg for her to take off her hat. I didn't have an ax, I only had a saw.

The wolf leaped at the little girl and I leaped at the wolf. Right before the wolf sank its teeth into her, I managed to put the toothed edge of the saw against the wolf's throat and cut its neck open. The wolf fell to the ground, but suddenly then there was a second wolf and it had bit into the girls head. I quickly grabbed the wolf by the jaw and pried it open, twisting it around and breaking its neck as it fell to the ground, but also tearing my hands open on its teeth. A third wolf had appeared, and bit deep into the girls abdomen, biting down so hard that there is no way I could grab it by the jaws. I felt anger fill my body, and then extend beyond it into the form of some sort of monster. With claws or talons I grabbed the wolf by its torso, impaling it with my hands. But it didn't let go and the girl was hanging from its mouth, so I bit the body of the wolf from its head with my jaws. The girl dropped and I caught her as I let out a howl. The other wolves vanished, not necessarily out of fear so much as because they figured it was a waste of time to prey on those who could defend themselves.

I began to run from the campsite, calling 9-1-1 on my phone. I yelled at where the parents were to help me, but they were gone. Instead, there were two human husks. The second two wolves that appeared, had come from their direction. They were those second two wolves.

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